Pamela Anderson isn’t taking any chances. After all, this is the King of Kings we’re talking about. Fearing Jesus may be following her incognito, Pamela is bending over backwards and giving assets away to any bum who asks. It’s just like that Jesus to use deception, but one wonders just how many homeless people the mega-star happens upon.

Click Here for Full-Sized Image

Sources say Pamela attempted to obtain a restraining order against her would-be messiah, but it was denied on grounds that Christ is omnipresent. Left with little choice, Pamela has accepted this divine stalker even sporting a “Jesus is my Homeboy” t-shirt (pictured right).

Praise the Lord, Jesus Christ, for through him all stalkers find hope.