All it took was one innocent question from a little girl, “will Dumbledore ever find true love?” And presto chango Dumbledore was transmogrified into a gay. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling vehemently defended the revelation, saying it’s her book and her right to say what it is. And she’s absolutely right but she’s also absolutely wrong. Imagine Sylvester Stallone came out tomorrow and announced Rocky was a white supremacist. Kinda taints those victories over Appollo and Mr. T. You just don’t pull the rug out from under the audience like this.

A spokesman for the gay rights group Stonewall praised the news, “It’s great that JK has said this. It shows that there’s no limit to what gay and lesbian people can do, even being a wizard headmaster.” Yes truly there are no limits for gays. You can be a wizard, a fairy, even a unicorn. In a related story, Sesame Street announced Bert and Ernie are wizards.