STAR TREK: CONQUEST (PS2) THIS YEAR’S 2ND MOST OVERRATED GAME – KHANNNNNNNN!!!

Relax Halo 3 you’re still #1 in my book but Star Trek: Conquest comes a close 2nd. The big reviewers (IGN/Gamespot) are giving it 8/10. This game is a 5/10 tops! And here’s why. It should’ve been called Star Trek: Risk ’cause that what this game aims to be. Unfortunately it fails! You decide how many players (alien civilizations) there will be and fight for control of the heavens. Sweet

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

One thing stood out about last night’s CNN Republican debacle/debate, Christianity and in some cases the lack of it. The candidates responded to whether they believe the entirety of the Holy Bible with a unanimous hallelujah, taking issue only with extreme allegorical passages like ripping out your own eye & Jonah and the whale. But when asked what Jesus would do regarding the death penalty the candidates were stumped. Oh

THANKS STUMBLEUPON USERS!!!

I just wanted to take some time out to thank all of you visiting from Stumbleupon.com – over 1,000 so far today? [rubs eyes]. Maybe I’m not such a square after all? [cries a little] Anyway, I hope you all subscribe and become regulars (and that my site can handle it). I’ll try my best not to let you down

THE JAPANESE MOBY DICKS

Japanese sailors are having a whale of a time in the Antarctic this week as they break a 44 year old moratorium on whaling. In their defense, Japan insists its intentions are purely scientific, and that they want to conduct research on the whales’ reproductive and feeding patterns. And really what better way to see how something reproduces then to spear it with your harpoon. (wink wink) However not everyone

Don’t waste your money on Beowulf–not even for Angelina Jolie. It’s that bad

SHAZAM! LAME NEWS BECOMES L7 WORLD

Operation World Wide Web domination commence. Stage 1 – kick ass domain name. Stage 2 – new content including: a stalker friendly section & original fiction/illustrations Stage 3 – merchandising!

AS SEEN ON TV

Not since Doggy Steps has an infomercial so persuasively pushed a product that we never knew we needed. Introducing the: Back-Up. Frankly pardner, a bed-mounted shotgun rack just makes good sense, as the company’s website explains: it intimidates intruders (assuming they’re already in the room while you’re dead asleep), it’s way better than a handgun ’cause shotguns have a spray pattern (nothing will escape your slumbering rampage), and of unlike

SANTA’S HOS

Santa’s living large at his polar crib but the Australian Santa staffing firm Westaff is having none of it and tells Santa to leave the hos at home. Westaff spokeswoman Sari Hegarty explains, “Westaff has been a provider of quality, caring Santas for over 40 years. Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience. We ask our Santas

ALAN MOORE STRIKES BACK!

Icon Alan Moore has long voiced his resentment over the corporate mutilation of his comics, going so far as to divorce himself from both the credit & compensation for Hollywood’s reinterpretations of his work. But it took a Simpsonized version of Alan Moore (video right) to really illustrate his contempt for the money machine. Of course Hollywood isn’t Moore’s only nemesis. Even within the pages of comics Moore’s work isn’t

GOD GETS GREAT GAS MILEAGE

With gas prices rising to record levels everyone’s looking to save a buck but who knew you could just fill up on God. Christian rock band Everyday Sunday’s music video Gypsy Girl (video right) ends with a girl running out of gas but luckily God is there to fill her up. If you wanna trivialize you’re own God that’s fine but the video crosses that line in the first 30

GHOSTBUSTERS SEQUEL

It took nearly 20 years but the Ghostbusters franchise finally gets a sequel in ’08 – starring YOU as the 5th Ghostbuster! Sierra games has licensed the title for a new Ghostbusters game on PC, PlayStation 3, and XBOX 360. While Wii, PlayStation 2, and DS owners will have have to settle for a ‘casual gamers’ version. The game takes place in a ghastly era known as the 90s. And

CRISIS AVERTED

Breathe easy hungry kids of the world, help is on the way in the form of stylish new computers! We’ve been donating food and money to 3rd world countries for decades and what’s it gotten us? They’re still hungry. Well no longer. The geniuses at OLPC, One Laptop Per Child, realized the surest way to fatten up kids is video games. And the new XO Laptop, which costs under $200,

ARE YOU JONESING FOR X-MAS?

Jones Soda ain’t your daddy’s drink. It might not be yours either. But what better way to torture your in-laws this holiday season than giving them some Christmas ham flavored soda. The novelty soda manufacturer is offering 2 new holiday packs, a Christmas pack which includes: Christmas ham, Christmas tree, egg nog, and sugar plum flavored sodas & a Chanukah pack which includes: Latke, apple sauce, Chocolate Coin, and jelly

TP: TOILET POLITICS

Just when you thought you’d seen it all, toilet paper gets political. The symbolism in Charmin’s newest commercial, which features two bears, one red and one blue, running against each other in a race could not be any more overt, particularly with the 2008 elections closing in.   &nbsp

AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE: ZOMBIE NINJA PRO – MOST UNDERRATED GAME EVER

Gamespot.com rated this game 3.5 outta 10, claiming “just because a game seemingly aims to be bad on purpose doesn’t make it any less of a bad game.” Lame News’ response: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE SHOW!?   The problem is reviewers are rating this game in such a general and bias way. It’s not supposed to be Tiger Woods PGA meets Halo. In a nutshell it’s like that episode

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