ARE WOMEN OBSOLETE – A REVIEW OF ARTIFICIAL GIRL 3 (PC) AGES 18+

This month Japanese game maker Illusion released their 3rd & without a doubt best installment of Artificial Girl yet. The Artificial Girl series allows players to create their perfect dream girl from the ground up even choosing what clothes they wear. The rest of the game involves getting them outta said clothes.

So are women finally obsolete? Not unless there’s some sorta robotic vacuum cleaner I don’t know about… oops I forgot about Roomba. Sorry ladies, don’t let the door hit you on the cellulite on the way out. I’m kidding of course, do let the door hit you.

I know what you’re thinking guys: “But Mark, I’ve invested alotta time and money in my woman. Is this game really gonna rock my virtual world?” In a word: you bet your sweet pussy whipped ass it will! And here’s why. This go around Artificial Girl allows you to employ up to 5 girls simultaneously! That means no matter where you wander in the game there’s bound to be some action nearby. And like all games in the series, anytime a girl is within earshot all you gotta do is yell and they’ll come running (except when sleeping, eating, or using the bathroom) can you say the same about your woman?

As for taking your relationship to the next level, i.e. the horizontal level, it’s as easy or hard as you wanna make it. In creating your pleasure bot you can choose from over 20 character traits, from good at cooking to good at hiding the salami, or if you like a challenge make her a virgin or the jealous type. Unlike life, it’s up to you!

Now for the bad news. It’s a Japanese game. This can be a problem if you don’t speak Japanese like me. But fear not fellow sex fiends! The internet is a wondrous and magical type place. Our friends at Hongfire.com have a simple forum thread that includes: the game (about 4 Gb) , translation patch (which translates everything but the audio), an uncensor patch, and a walkthrough guide [just make sure you enable Japanese in your computer's regional settings before trying to install it].

Still not sold? Take a gander at this handy dandy promo (click the picture on the right for video, NSFW). The girls look fantastic but you may notice the guy you play as is very nondescript but that’s alright. Frankly the guy’s superfluous. In fact, you can toggle him in and out of the game for a 1st person perspective. Better yet you take out the guy while leaving in his bits & pieces. Disembodied penises chasing inflatable women? Sold.