Zombie Wars is the perfect movie for a drinking game that is. Just have a sip every time someone does or says something cliche and you’ll be wasted before your first bathroom break.
It takes place in a post apocalyptic future where humanity has been overrun by zombies and the few remaining survivors have, for reasons not explained, split up into small groups to survive. Brian, the leader of one these bands of human survivors, is kidnapped by the zombies and learns a terrible secret – zombies are farming humans!
First off the synopsis is just plain wrong! The leader isn’t Brian; it’s the General. And he doesn’t discover the human farm. In fact, some of the group’s members were born on the farm before eventually escaping. So we know this has been going on for quite so time and yet when we finally see the farm there are no children! Moreover, there don’t appear to be many adults either. So either this a major plot hole or these zombies have got miracle grow fertilizer for humans.
Eventually we learn (spoiler) the zombies have been taught to farm humans by humans! One of the clues that leads to this shocking revelation is the zombies giving Brian soap to clean himself cause we all know zombies are meticulously clean. Brian reasons that zombies aren’t smart enough to make soap (lord knows it couldn’t just be leftover soap from before the apocalypse). And why wouldn’t they be smart enough to make soap, since they’re apparently smart enough to capture and breed humans like animals.
Then there’s the overacting, which all of the actors partake in. But particularly Sliver, the double crossing spy, planted on the farm (no pun intended). He doesn’t give the whole squinty eye/slow devious voice a rest for even a second. Think the snake from the Jungle Book and that’s pretty much him. And you’d be hard-pressed to find a single scene where somebody doesn’t offer up a quip before or after killing a zombie. But words don’t do it justice so here’s a little unofficial trailer (delete because of Megavideo lawsuit but full movie available below) that will let you know just what you’re getting yourself into should you dare to watch this. On a scale of 1 to 10 brains, Zombie Wars gets no brains!