mutant growth hormoneIf you’ve been reading Marvel comics lately you’ve probably noticed one prevailing theme – drugs (and not the good kind like the ones that make babies go away).

I think it all started with Quicksilver feening over the Terrigen Mists. Sure they may have been more mystical than pharmaceutical, but the affect was same. Quicksilver became dark & brooding, even his gaunt appearance resembled that of a junkie. Then in Uncanny X-men #490 Marvel introduced us to Mutant Growth Hormone (MGH), a drug that gives/enhances superpowers. However, its existence seemed of little consequence as M-Day, which had depowered mutants around the world, had done the same to the drug.

But Marvel wasn’t about to let it end there. Amazing Spider Spider-Man #552 gave us the world’s first supervillain to get his powers from crystal meth (well he thought it was meth anyway). And even Spidey was bugging out when he walked in on this Freak getting high (linkage).

In Ultimate X-Men #94 Marvel they revealed Colossus’ (other) secret – his strength is a result of MGH! Colussus explained, “Just because I turn to steel doesn’t make me super-strong,” and that without it just moving would be difficult. Now that’s just gay. Your superpower shouldn’t be a hindrance to your own body. I mean Cyclops doesn’t vaporize his eyelids when he shoots laser beams outta his eyes. Homo-Superior my ass.

Of course like an After School Special Jean gives Colossus an ultimatum, stop doping or be expelled from the institute. But then the unthinkable happens: half of the X-Men (Nightcrawler, Rouge, Angel, and Dazzler) side with Colossus and start taking MGH! I guess they’ll have to change their name to the RX-Men.