jerk-offMoms have long sought to curtail masturbation by creating myths like “you’ll go blind” & the dreaded hairy palms threat.

Now scientists are taking a whack at it.

According to a study in the January issue of BJU International, frequent masturbators have a 79% higher risk of prostate cancer.

But don’t throw away that box of tissues just yet.

The statistics were only true for men in their 20s & 30s. The opposite was true for older men, who actually saw a 70% decreased risk. “A possible explanation for the protective effect that men in their fifties appear to receive from masturbation is that the release of accumulated toxins during sexual activity reduces the risk of developing cancer in the prostate area,” explains Dr. Polyxeni Dimitropoulou.

Regardless, we’re unlikely to see a Surgeon General’s warning on masturbation anytime soon.

That’s because it’s not the actual act that causes cancer, rather men with high sex drives simply tend to masturbate more often. High sex drives mean higher levels of androgen, the male sex hormone. And that’s the real culprit.

But even if you do know yourself like the back of your hand, relax. Frequent masturbation was considered more than 20 times a month! And if you’re doing that much, I’d be more concerned with erosion.