This Easter it won’t be Jesus that comes back from the dead. But these aren’t your typical zombies, they’re nazi zombies. And they don’t want brains… well they do, but that’s just a means to an end. What they really want is their gold back, which is funny because it’s not even theirs. It’s stolen gold, but try telling a nazi zombie that. At first I thought this was going

It seems there’s no escaping Asher Roth and his ode to college life (i.e. drinking & women). Now it’s bad enough I’ve gotta listen to this drivel at the gym, but even as I type it’s playing on the “alternative channel” of Music Choice Television. I’ll admit “I Love College” is catchy, but so was Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby.” And it’s just so blatant in its pandering. You can

Let’s face it, praying for your immortal soul is a major inconvenience. If only there was a way to pay someone (or something) to pray for you. Well say halo to the Information Age Prayer (informationageprayer.com). For just $3.95 per month this sacrilegious site will say your prayers for you using “state of the art text-to-speech synthesizers to voice each prayer at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person

Every month millions of men are held hostage in their own homes by a biological attack known as PMS. And god help you if you incorrectly profile a woman as having it. Tired of living in constant fear of these hormonal terrorists, Jordan Eisenberg created an early warning system called PMS Buddy (pmsbuddy.com). It’s a website that tracks PMS, allowing you to make a preemptive strike. Eisenberg suggests flowers, which

New Year’s resolutions often involve giving up something bad for you: cigarettes, alcohol, junk food. John & Maggie Anderson decided to give up crackers, pledging to “only support black owned businesses.” They’ve even hired a public relations firm and created a website (ebonyexperiment.com) suggesting other African-Americans do the same. The Andersons claim they’re just trying to help their ‘community.’ But admit that they sometimes have to travel miles out of

Barack Obama is known for being well-spoken, at least when his teleprompter is working. Without it he’s  like a deer in headlights, stuttering and seemingly lost in thought. But apparently even with the teleprompter he has trouble. At a St. Patrick’s Day celebration at the White House, President Obama mistakenly read the Irish Prime Minister’s speech, opening with “First, I’d like to say thank you to President Obama.” He actually

One of many things absent from the recent movie adaptation of Watchmen was the fictional comic Tales of the Black Freighter. This story within a story mirrored events (as they happened) in Watchmen so a standalone direct-to-DVD movie kinda defeats the purpose. The episode-length movie, which clocks in at just over 20 minutes, tells the tale of a sea captain who is marooned after an encounter with the Black Freighter,

A live-action adaptation of Dragon Ball? I knew this was gonna be bad. The only question was how bad. Well I got my answer last night, and it’s a disaster. In fairness I saw the shorter Asian version, but I really don’t think an extra 15 minutes of fight scenes is going to sway my opinion. The characters have been so butchered that they would be unrecognizable if not for

For the first time ever The Simpsons is premiering outside of America with a special Saint Patrick’s Day episode called In The Name Of The Grandfather. Those lucky Irish (and those of us with the internet) can watch it today, while everyone else will have to wait until Sunday. Not surprisingly, the theme involves alcohol. When Homer misses the father-son wheelbarrow race at grandpa Simpson’s retirement home, the only way

And apparently those of us over 26 don’t think so good (I’m 31). A seven-year study at the University of Virginia found that our mental abilities peak at 22. And by the time we’re 27, brain speed, reasoning and visual puzzle-solving ability are all in decline. Fortunately, memory doesn’t decline until 37 so I can still find my keys… to my Ford Model T. As you can probably tell I

If ever there was a TV show to get high to it’s The Adventures of Superpup. No it’s not a cartoon about Superman’s dog Krypto. It’s a live-action children’s show about Superman except with dogs as the main characters. Wait, it gets better! The actors are little people. Midgets in animal costumes! Midgets who clearly can’t see out of said costumes. In one scene the villain Professor Sheepdip can be

When a little boy asked double amputee Nadya Vessey why she didn’t have any legs, she answered, “I am a mermaid.” 2½ years later that dream came true thanks to a mermaid suit designed by the Hollywood special effects company Weta Workshop. But unlike the kind seen in movies like Splash, this prosthesis is fully-functional. Now Nadya has her own children’s book “The Mermaid Who Lost Her Tail” about a

When a Pennsylvanian pet store received a package from US Airways they were expecting $1,000 worth of exotic fish. But instead of finding fish inside the box, there was a dead mailman. Jon Kenoyer, a retired postal worker, had died of Alzheimer’s and was supposed to be shipped to Life Quest Anatomical for medical research. Mary Kenoyer told reporters that her husband was afraid of flying and “He was such

Sometimes no news is good news. That’s because I’ve been doing a new webcomic. Smurfmen is a smurfy parody of the Watchmen comic/movie. There’s a whole chapter up now in the webcomics section. Not gonna be a lot of chapters to this and I won’t say if or when the next chapter will be out as I’ll probably be behind whatever I say. Enjoy

“If the kids are slouching, not only is that bad for you, but it cuts off your blood flow,” says Lisa Witt, a former Elementary School teacher and founder of WittFitt. WittFitt markets stability balls as a healthy alternative to the stiff wooden/ceramic chairs traditionally used in schools. Tiffany Miller a teacher who started using the balls in January agrees, “The whole theory with the brain is that when your