One-Eyed Monster is a breakout role for Ron Jeremy’s dick, literally!

While filming his latest adult film Ron, who plays himself, is possessed by an alien life form that wants to mate with our women. And it doesn’t take no for an answer.

After nearly fucking his wife to death, Ron’s dick breaks loose, killing Ron in the process which is too bad because the few lines he had were well-delivered. Maybe not Oscar-worthy but certainly good enough for an AVN award. Not that he’s eligible since this isn’t actually a porno, just a parody. There’s only one topless scene, but what a scene! Porn star Carmen Hart rehearses some sex scenes but is interrupted by Ron’s disembodied dick and gets some killer head. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see the money shot. In fact, there are only a couple of scenes where we actually get to see said dick. And when we do, it’s usually choking the guys! (not that kinda choking)

As with most movie monsters, there’s only one way to stop it: trap it and cut its head off! And it doesn’t take a porn star to figure out how you trap a dick. Luckily (read: unbelievably) T.J., the crew’s sound guy, has been working on a side project: a neuro–tactile stimulator, which is basically just a fancy name for an artificial vagina that simulates various porn star orifices. Sounds like a Godzilla movie: Cockzilla Versus Mecha-Pussy.

Of course a neuro–tactile stimulator is no substitute for the real thing, and in the end it all comes down to Ron’s wife and her amazing Kegels, exercises that have made vagina almost superhuman! In fact they’re so amazing that they wrote a song about ‘em: “Do the Kegel” which plays during the credits so make sure you stick around.

Production values aside, One-Eyed Monster is loads of fun with lots of porn puns. I don’t recommend watching the trailer as it blows all good scenes. Instead here’s an exclusive music video, courtesy of L7 World, that will get the point across (video right).