Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit – Review

Everyone’s favorite giant space chicken makes an appearance at the G8 summit to weigh in on the housing crisis, literally!

Don’t worry if your haven’t seen the 60s classic The X from Outer Space. It’s not so much a sequel, as it is an excuse to make the G8 seem ineffectual. Even the one nod to the original movie, is really just knock at the Chinese who accidentally bring Girara back to Earth by reproducing the spaceship on which he first arrived. The Canada Prime Minister remarks “the Chinese are always making copy of everything.”

While all the most of the G8 members seem content to run away and let their Japanese hosts deal with Girara, the  American President chides them for their cowardice then convinces them that staying will be good press for their re-elections. But instead of working together each country decides to go it alone. The results are laughable. Seriously, Germany gasses Girara only to have him laugh it off. Oddly enough they never try the Giulalanium that defeated Girara the first time around, but then again it would be a very short movie if they did.

Set in 2008 all the world leaders are based on their real-life counterparts, most notably the American & French presidents. Although never named they’re obviously supposed to be George Bush & Nicholas Sarkozy. The cowboy like American president is quick on the trigger so much so that when the Japanese Prime Minister hesitates to launch missiles at the monster, he pushes him out of the way and does it himself exclaiming “yahoo!” While the playboy French Prime Minister prefers to make love not war, and skips out on the war room for a quick romp his Japanese translator.

In most diakaiju films the monsters are eventually overcome by a child, woman, or another monster and Monster X Strikes Back sticks to that convention by using all three. Sumida is a under-appreciated reporter looking for a big scoop. She finds it when she gets lost in the mountains and sees villagers doing what can only be described as a Michael Jackson inspired crotch grab dance to the local mountain spirit, Take Majin. Eventually a gruff boy named Shinichi agrees to teach Sumida the ritual and together they summon the giant golden eight-armed god, played by none other than Takeshi Kitano (Beat Takeshi). Unfortunately, Takeshi doesn’t have a whole lot of lines but you’re sure to recognize that silly face of his. He only appears at the end of the movie and the final battle isn’t long, but boy is it memorable. I won’t spoil it for you other than to say there’s lots of juvenile humor, including the crotch grab’s true purpose!

And although the special effects have improved in the past 40 years, the dialogue has not. It’s awesomely bad! And it’s not just the subtitles. The non-Japanese characters speak in their native languages and still sound goofy. You’d think the actors would have corrected the director, but maybe it’s intentional and they’re just parodying that too. Basically if you like campy monster movies, look no further.