The epic three-part story (read: commercial) for the upcoming South Park video game concludes in the very misleadingly titled “Titties and Dragons.”
The children of South Park join forces get a next gen video game console on Black Friday. They model their plan on the television series Game of Thrones, which leads to constant betrayal. Their army splits into two camps: Xbox One vs PS4.
Cartman makes Butters watch the show to find out when the dragons show up but all he sees are non-threatening floppy wieners so pays a visit to creator George R.R. Martin, who insists the dragons are coming but goes on and on about wieners.
When Microsoft and Sony catch wind of the console war they each back their respective side. The battle culminates with an appearance by Bill Gates, who is covered in tattoos. Gates bashes in the head of Sony’s CEO and declares Xbox the winner. The children wade through the dead bodies of Black Friday shoppers while the Charlie Brown Christmas song “Christmas Time Is Here” plays in the background.
Cartman can’t enjoy his victory after witnessing the carnage so he suggests they play outside instead. He explains that past few weeks have shown that they don’t need video games to have a fun adventure.
“Honestly guys, do we need video games to play?” he asks. “Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things.”
Cartman picks up a stick off the ground and says they can play with it. The announcer declares the long delayed game South Park: The Stick of Truth is “coming soon.”
Butters pops up and voices his skepticism, “Yeah… and if you believe that, I got a big floppy wiener to dangle in your face.”