Morgan Freeman was busy counting his money so professional impressionist Jason Stephens lent his voice to narrate South Park: Stick of Truth. The game starts with little boy named Theodore making friends and promptly hitting them and calling them names.
“Now it was time for Theo to do what every young boy must do at some point in their lives: kill multiple government zombies who are slowly infecting the town with Nazi zombies and help a fat stupid asshole get his Stick of Truth back,” Freeman eloquently explains.
Sadly, Theo doesn’t make it to the end of the game. Underpants gnomes shrink him and they fight on his parents’ bed while it’s… umm, in use. Theodore meets his end where he started, at the bottom of his father’s scrotum.