This Thursday Scotland votes on independence and England hasn’t given them a convincing reason to stay according to Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The English host said there’s been a history of animosity towards their neighbor to the north. He cited examples such as banning kilts and a national anthem that at one time included the verse “rebellious Scots to crush.”
Prime Minister David Cameron attempted to woo them back by flying the Scottish flag over Downing Street but it fell off the pole as if to say good riddance. Cameron said he would be “heartbroken… if this family of nations was torn apart” but he was clearly not heartbroken enough for Oliver.
“If I’ve learned one thing from the last four minutes of British romantic comedies, it’s that if you’re trying to win someone over you need a big romantic gesture,” he explained.
The Englishman forced himself to eat haggis, drink Scottish whisky, listen to bagpipe music and dance with Scotland’s official animal, a unicorn! The bit culminated with him parodying the cue cards scene in Love Actually.
There are several reasons for Scotland to remain part of the United Kingdom. Not least of which is the Union Jack flag, which is a mix of flags from England, Ireland and Scotland. Oliver said it adorns everything he owns including his bedspread, shower curtain, wallpaper and even his dog. On a serious note, he noted Scotland’s dwindling oil reserves and the permanently overcast country’s lack of solar power. Furthermore, Scotland would presumably have to change its currency from the British Pound to the less stable Euro. Either that or go back to using sheep and threats joked Oliver.