If you don’t read Savage Dragon #177 the terrorists win.

In this Godzilla parody, Osama Bin Laden’s body drifts into the radioactive waters of Japan. He mutates into a green giant hell bent on destroying New York (again).

Unfortunately, the Savage Dragon is out of town so it’s up to his son, who uses his wikipedic knowledge to lure the monster away from the city with Whitney Houston music. Once safely offshore, the towering terrorist is fittingly blown up planes.

Savage Dragon VS Osama Bin Laden is a post from: L7 World

The classic Marvel super hero cartoons are getting new life (so to speak) thanks to director Ivan Miguel Guerrero, who has seamlessly zombified the opening credits of Fantastic Four (1967) and The Marvel Super Heroes (1966). “I am a big fan of the Marvel Zombies books and the covers done by artist Arthur Suydam. In creating this fan art/trailer, I wanted to capture the same irreverent-retro concept used for the covers and somehow extend it to animation. The 1960s Marvel Cartoons presented the perfect canvass… and I found the perfect clips on youtube,” says Guerrero.

If Cartoon Network executives have any brains, they’ll buy this immediately to promote their classic cartoon channel Boomerang, which has the eerily appropriate slogan: ‘It’s all Coming Back to you.’

“Re-animated” Marvel Zombies is a post from: L7 World

Aquaman has gotten a bum rap over the years. He’s one of the most powerful super heroes in the DC Universe yet most people think he’s a joke because he lives in the water and talks to fish. DC Comics is hoping to change that perception with a reboot. Rather than shy away from all the ridicule he’s received, writer Geoff Johns tackles the fish jokes head on but Aquaman’s not laughing.

In Aquaman #1, the under-appreciated hero receives jeers from criminals and law enforcement alike. The criminals don’t see him as a threat and the police are embarrassed about getting upstaged by him. Aquaman calmly shrugs it off but he really gets steamed while eating at a seafood restaurant, where he’s inundated with dirty looks for ordering the fish and chips. The other customers tell him can’t eat fish since he talks to them. Aquaman explains that fish brains are too primitive to carry on a conversation, and what he actually does is “reach into their midbrains and telepathically push them to help.”

A blogger decides to do an impromptu interview, which is really more of a roast and culminates in with him asking how it feels to be Aquaman. He elaborates, “I mean, I’m sure you’ve heard all the jokes and seen all the skits from Saturday Night Live on Youtube. So how’s it feel to be a punchline? How’s it feel to be a laughingstock? How’s it feel to be nobody’s favorite super-hero?” Aquaman answers by pulling out his trident complete with Wolverine-esque sound effect.

His new tough guy attitude can also be seen on the Justice League #4 cover, which shows a very badass looking Aquaman standing over a defeated Green Lantern. But will Aquaman ever be able to conquer his greatest enemy… his own image?

Funniest parodies of Aquaman:

Nobody’s Favorite Super-Hero is a post from: L7 World

9/11 conspiracies go mainstream in The Big Lie by Image Comics, a publisher better known for titles like Spawn and The Walking Dead. The Truther comic book, which features Uncle Sam as narrator, has no qualms about being propaganda. “It’s obviously more ‘propaganda’ than those other approaches [referring to titles like Catch 22, Doctor Strangelove, and Veitch's Army@Love]. Using comics to present a political point of view. My art is usually as far from the realm of propaganda as I can possibly make it. But sometimes, especially for a situation like this, I like to wield it,” says writer Rick Veitch.

The personification of America is symbolically bloodied and tattered perhaps as much, if not more, by the “lie” than the physical attack. He declares, “Most times the bigger the fib, the easier for plain folks to be taken in. Well, I reckon there’s still a few good citizens got so much moxie they’ll overcome any obstacle to set things straight. Even time itself…” One such a person is Sandra Stratton, a physicist who travels back in time to save her husband. He works in the North Tower as part of a risk management consulting company, which conveniently deals with security, military, and political issues. Each department confidently refutes Sandra’s claims as either implausible or impossible. “In fact, your whole hypothesis only works if people in our own government were somehow in collusion with this imagined attack,” concludes the office manager. Sandra says she doesn’t know what on “behind the scenes” but one thing’s for sure: Bush lied us into a war. Another department backs up the idea of 9/11 being an inside job, citing some neo-cons desire for a “new Pearl Harbor.”

Despite her persuasiveness, Sandra’s own husband dismisses the danger. He just happened to write his thesis paper on the World Trade Center and explains that it was “specifically built to withstand the crash of a fully loaded jetliner” and the only way to bring it down is with high-grade explosives. When Sandra shows him footage of WTC 7 collapsing on her ipad, he is convinced what he sees is a controlled demolition and has her escorted from the building. Minutes later the plane crashes into the tower and exposes explosives attached to the building’s beams. In that instant, the book goes from theory to a claim of fact.

Veitch says he took care to “avoid some of the loonier theories that you see, like space aliens did it.” Yet, he gives credence to conspiracy theories just as loony, such as the belief that Jews were behind 9/11 in order to goad American into invading the Middle East. One of the reasons they doubt Sandra is that they are in the middle of a project for a famous filmmaker named “Stephen” (i.e.; Steven Spielberg), who wants to have a real-life collapsing skyscraper in his next movie. This goes far beyond coincidence and seem to implicate Spielberg so it’s not surprising Veitch spells his first name with a “ph” and leaves out his last name.

The Big Lie is a One-Shot comic but Veitch says, “Right now we are discussing a couple more 9/11 themed issues that focus on elements that were too complex to cover in our first issue. We’d like to do one that illustrates the money trail preceding and following the attacks. And we’d like to shine a much needed light on the Patriot Act, which had been on the Neo-Con drawing board for a decade until it was passed in response to 9/11.”

The Big Lie – 9/11 comic is a post from: L7 World

The DC Universe has been rebooted and it all starts here: Action Comics #1. It takes place 5½ years before “The New 52″ line up, when Superman is just coming into his own.

I had joked that Superman was slowing down in his old age, when he shot himself out of cannon in Action Comics #903, but it seems that a weaker Superman is now canon.

No Tights No Flight

A cape does not a costume make. Worse when it’s worn with regular clothes it makes Superman look like a loon, particularly since he can’t fly instead he leaps onto blimps and hitches rides. He’s no longer faster than a speeding bullet, which we discover when cops shoot him in the back as he runs away but he is still bullet proof, at least to ordinary bullets. The military hires Lex Luthor to capture the alien invader by hitting him with “the world’s biggest bullet,” a bullet train. Superman does manage to stop a train… with his face!

Taking Superman down a notch is one thing but having him be defeated in the first issue is pretty weak. Despite what some might think, Superman was never invincible. He just had different weaknesses (Kryptonite, magic, friends and family, mind control). You had to beat him using your brain, which is why Lex Luthor has always been his deadliest enemy. If Superman can be beaten physically, Lex Luthor is obsolete.

One thing Superman’s not lacking in is attitude. He acts more like Batman than a boyscout. The jaded hero crashes a party and holds a corporate criminal over the edge of a building, threatening to drop him unless he makes a full confession: “To someone who still believes the law works the same for the rich and poor alike. Because that ain’t Superman.”

Others have more personal problems with the new Superman. The Comic Conspiracy, a comic book store in North Carolina, is banning the book because of a panel where Superman gets hit from behind by a tank and yells “GD,” which apparently is short for God Damn. The store owner calls it the latest in a line of attacks on Christianity in comics and writes on his Facebook page, “I’m sorry, Superman would NEVER take God’s name in vain. In the words of the late Jim Croce, ‘You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.’” Personally, I’m more offended by the use of abbreviations. What’s next? Superman foiling one of Lex Luthor’s schemes an gloating “LOL. Fail.”

Less Powerful than a Locomotive is a post from: L7 World

Action Comics is the world’s longest running comic book but this September DC Comics will be rebooting and renumbering all its books so Superman is going out with a bang.

In his prime Superman could travel faster than the speed of light and break the time-barrier, but it seems he’s is slowing down in his old age.

In the penultimate issue, Action Comics #903, Superman shoots himself out of a cannon! Of course, he calls it an accelerator and justifies it by saying it will allow him to hit maximum velocity before the enemy can react. (I guess he’s never heard of a running start.)

What’s really absurd is that Lois is utterly unfazed by this. Here’s how it should have gone down:

Faster than a Speeding Bullet!? is a post from: L7 World

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad makes an unflattering cameo in X-Men Schism #1. The X-Men petition the United Nations to dismantle their Sentinels, giant robots programmed to destroy mutants, but Ahmadinejad refuses to “acknowledge the existence of these so-called Sentinels.”

His rant is interrupted by a mutant terrorist, who uses telepathy to force all the UN representatives to divulge all their darkest secrets. Ahmadinejad admits “I beat my children. I do it quite often, in fact. I… I do it because… well, because I enjoy it.” Later he is seen denouncing “genetic infidels” from the palm of said Sentinel.

“In Iran, we don’t have homosuperior” is a post from: L7 World

This Fall the original Batgirl returns, more than 2 decades after she was crippled by the Joker in Batman: The Killing Joke, but for how long?

Bane has always prided himself in being the first and only man to break the Bat but after some soul searching he realizes “the Bat broke Bane.” While Bane is surrounded by broken men destined for Hell, Batman is surrounded by loved ones. The only way to truly break Batman is by “breaking everyone he loves.” In Secret Six #35, Bane makes a list of targets including: Robin, Red Robin, Huntress, and Batgirl! Granted, he probably means Stephanie Brown, the current Batgirl, but that could easily change. When Bane’s teammate, Catman, threatens to walk unless Huntress is taken off the list, Bane simply replaces her with Commissioner Gordon explaining “It isn’t vital who, as long as he cares.”

Of course crippling Barbara Gordon twice is about as likely DC Comics rebooting AND renumbering their entire line…

Batgirl’s Back is a post from: L7 World

Bruce Wayne became Batman after his parents were gunned down in front of him but that all changes in the crossover event Flashpoint. The Reverse-Flash travels back in time and alters history so that Bruce was killed instead of his parents. Now Thomas Wayne dons the cowl in Flashpoint: Batman – Knight of Vengeance.

Thomas Wayne may be older but the Dark Knight has nothing on him. He has no compunction about killing but while super villains like Poison Ivy are pushing up daisies, the Joker runs wild. After escaping from Arkham Asylum, yet again, Joker kidnaps Judge Harvey Dent’s children to “play house.” You don’t have to be the World’s Greatest Detective to deduce the reason that Batman is pulling his punches is because the Joker is his wife, Martha Wayne!

This Ain’t Your Daddy’s Batman’s Daddy is a post from: L7 World

Memorial Day is supposed to be a time to remember our fallen service members but like most holidays it’s been commercialized, literally. A new trailer for the movie adaptation of the f-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-l hero Thor recommends Americans skip those boring Memorial services and “Spend this Memorial Day weekend with a real hero.” (video bottom) Are they suggesting soldiers aren’t real heroes? I’ve contacted Marvel comics and Viacom, the parent company of Paramount Pictures, to get their side and eagerly await their reply.

UPDATE:
Neither company bothered to respond, which besides being horrible customer service, suggests that they have no explanation and they think saying sorry will be taken as an admission of guilt or they simply aren’t sorry.

Memorial Thor’s Day is a post from: L7 World