All Alex wants for Christmas is for his parents to stop fighting. He asks them for a robot hoping that it will bring his family together instead it tears them apart, literally.

This isn’t your typical killer robot story. It gets you to sympathize with the machine but not by humanizing it, rather by dehumanizing the human.

At first Blinky acts as a surrogate parent, but the boy quickly grows bored with it. Alex quits in the middle of a game of hide and seek. When the robot finds him, he orders it stand out in the rain and count down from one million. Alex tries to elicit a response by barking out conflicting commands and berating the robot, but it continually responds “no problem.”

Actor Max Records (Where the Wild Things Are) does such a good job of playing the spoiled brat that you find yourself constantly hoping this will be the moment that Blinky inevitably snaps. Of course, it never snaps because it’s not alive. The robot just obediently counts down to the last command it received, before it calls out “Ready or not, here I come.”

Watch BlinkyTM below:

Blinky TM Movie and Review is a post from: L7 World

Last Halloween LAIKA, the animation studio behind Coraline, introduced us to their newest creepy kid ParaNorman with a spine tingling trailer set to the psychedelic song “Season of the Witch” by Donovan.

In the new family friendly, but less groovy, trailer we learn more about Norman’s paranormal ability to see dead people including his Grandmother and other not-so-friendly ghosts.

ParaNormal Release Date: August 17, 2012
Trailers below:

ParaNorman – New Trailer is a post from: L7 World

Unwilling to leave good enough alone, George Lucas has once again “upgraded” Return of the Jedi for the Star Wars: The Original Trilogy (Episodes IV – VI) [Blu-ray] release due out Sept 16th. In the original, Darth Vader watched silently as the Emperor electrocute his son. However, in the new version he envokes Hayden Christensen and whines “Nooo…” Fans haven’t been this upset since the exorcizing of Sebastian Shaw’s ghost. L7 World was able to attain the finished product and it’s worse than anyone thought.

Fanboys Scream “Nooo” More Star War Changes is a post from: L7 World

Memorial Day is supposed to be a time to remember our fallen service members but like most holidays it’s been commercialized, literally. A new trailer for the movie adaptation of the f-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-l hero Thor recommends Americans skip those boring Memorial services and “Spend this Memorial Day weekend with a real hero.” (video bottom) Are they suggesting soldiers aren’t real heroes? I’ve contacted Marvel comics and Viacom, the parent company of Paramount Pictures, to get their side and eagerly await their reply.

UPDATE:
Neither company bothered to respond, which besides being horrible customer service, suggests that they have no explanation and they think saying sorry will be taken as an admission of guilt or they simply aren’t sorry.

Memorial Thor’s Day is a post from: L7 World

That a single person can change history is a very dangerous idea so it’s not surprising that China is anti-time travel.

The General Bureau of Radio, Film and Television is banning all time travel stories, calling them “disrespectful to history.”

Chinahush.com translated the original story: “The time-travel drama is becoming a hot theme for TV and films. But its content and the exaggerated performance style are questionable. Many stories are totally made-up and are made to strain for an effect of novelty. The producers and writers are treating the serious history in a frivolous way, which should by no means be encouraged anymore.”

China Outlaws Time Travel is a post from: L7 World

Realizing his own mortality, Lex Luthor decides it’s time to get serious about killing Superman. Ironically, he uses the very source of Superman’s powers to do it, exposing him to an overdose of solar radiation. Now literally exploding with power, Superman faces some us his greatest challenges yet as he tries to get his final affairs in order.

Due to time constraints, the movie adaptation understandably cuts out most of the challenges seen in the 12-issue miniseries, such as a battle with Jimmy Olsen who transforms into Doomsday and escaping from Bizarro World.
But at just 75 minutes, there’s no excuse for cutting pivotal moments like a time traveling adventure where Clark gets to say goodbye to Jonathan Kent and a near-death experience, in which he meets Jor-El.

Instead the movie focuses on the love story between Lois and Clark Superman. Although Lois has long suspected that Clark is Superman, she has a hard time believing it when Clark comes right out and tells her. As a result, he stays in his Superman persona around Lois and creates a super serum that gives her his powers for 24 hours. The rest of the time he spends as Clark, interviewing his own murderer from prison.

While you might expect the inevitable battle between Luther and Superman to be the show stopper, it’s actually a prison break by Parasite that steals the show, along with Superman’s new power. Merely standing near Superman literally fills the Parasite with power and he transforms from a sickly potbellied thing into a gigantic primal force like something out of a Studio Ghibli film. Parasite chases after Clark with a very cool infrared Predator effect, only to be stopped by the floor collapsing under his own weight or so it seems. In fact, he’s done in by a subtle stomp from Clark.

Subtle to the characters, but not the audience. It’s one of the few improvements over the comic. All the times Clark accidentally saves someone are easy to miss in the comic but are made explicit in the movie.

On the other hand, somethings are made a little too obvious like when Superman shows Lois his time telescope which he uses to talk to his “descendants” rather than his “successors” as in the comic. Lois comments how the Superman of 84th century looks like her father, and Superman awkwardly looks away. So when Superman flies into the Sun to reignite it, it comes as no surprise that his legacy isn’t over. A remorseful Lex Luthor cracks the Kryptopian genome, allowing Lois to finally have Superman’s baby… technically his clone. It’s more romantic if you don’t think about it too much.

All-Star Superman – Review is a post from: L7 World

When the Griffin house loses power (yet again) the characters reluctantly perform another Star Wars parody. The opening crawl warns you to “lower your expectations” explaining that they “ran out of gas” after the first two movies but Fox forced them to make another. It’s not just self-deprecating humor, it’s also a subtle dig at Star Wars Episode VI itself. The rest of the movie isn’t so subtle.

No one is more critical than Peter. After he sees Leia’s braided hair, he points out the inconsistency of Ewoks that “use spears with wooden shafts and stone carved tips yet they clearly understand the finer points of cosmetology.” Leia concedes, “Yeah, I know. It’s not as good as Empire.” Eventually Peter has enough of the cutesy Ewoks entirely and decides to make things a little darker by forcing captured imperial soldiers to dig their own graves with their helmets.

The deep voiced Patrick Warburton lends his voice to another character with no legs: Jabba the Hutt. If you listen closely you’ll hear him sneak in some English like singing the song “Lady Marmalade” and saying “Mila Kunis” who is the voice of Meg and makes her first appearance in the trilogy as the Sarlacc pit (naturally).

Other new appearances include Cleveland Show characters Rallo (Nien Nunb) & Tim the Bear (Wicket the Ewok) and American Dad characters Klaus (Admiral Ackbar) & Roger (Imperial Officer). It was disappointing that Roger with his love of dressing up only played one role, and a small one at that. Despite his whiny voice Roger would have made a great Jaba, saying things like ‘Does this slave girl make me look fat?’ before dropping them into the Rancor pit.

The best scene, other than Leia’s slave girl outfit of course, is the speeder bike chase which goes low tech with actual bicycles. But that doesn’t make the it any less deadly. Taking (read: stealing) a page from Aqua Teen Hunger Force not only do the bikes inexplicably explode on impact so do the stormtroopers. The chase matches the original virtually frame for frame. It even has music by Star Wars conductor John Williams, who trails them with an orchestra also on bikes.

Dark Side of the Farce

Not even low expectations can prepare you for “Pie Fighters” that shoot actual pies. They even sink as low as reusing a joke from Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode III where the Emperor falls onto the windshield on the Millennium Falcon, which wasn’t that funny to begin with. But unlike Robot Chicken, Family Guy doesn’t embellish Boba Fett as you might expect since he’s played by Peter’s own nemesis, Ernie the Giant Chicken. Instead, Boba Fett is dispatched off screen while Han and Chewie exchange an endless series of head nods to confirm their next move. When Han inquires what happened, an alien nonchalantly tells him that Boba Fett fell in the pit.

The Emperor is unable to anger Luke to turn to the dark side so he resorts to attacking Seth Green the actor who plays him, a running gag in the series. Not only does he resist but when the story ends and the lights come back on in the Griffin house, Green goes on the offensive and attacks Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane.

Not surprisingly the characters voiced by MacFarlane (Peter, Brian, Stewie) side with him, but the rest let him have it. They call him a sell out, criticizing how few episodes he puts out each season and yet still divides them up into multiple DVDs. Peter defends Macfarlane by telling Chris that he hopes people will just remember the laughter, which is followed by awkward silence and the credits.

It may not be the funniest in the series but just like Return of the Jedi, you can’t watch 2/3 of a trilogy.

Family Guy: It’s a Trap! – Review is a post from: L7 World

Jackass 3D has broken all kinds of  records, not just for the biggest October opening, but also for being the first movie I’ve seen in the theater since Deep Blue Sea (1999) and the first 3D movie that didn’t need red and blue glasses. If ever there was a movie made for 3D, it’s Jackass.

However, there’s a great introduction by the original jackasses, Beavis and Butthead, that masterfully lowers expectations. Butthead demonstrates 3D technology by punching Beavis in the face but he’s not the only one that gets tricked.

Scenes like Johnny Knoxville jet skiing toward the camera should look amazing, but instead the camera quickly cuts to a shot from behind and all we see is Knoxville vanish behind some bushes. Other than the titles, the only notable 3D is the handful of CG (read: fake) bees during Beehive Tetherball.

While the 3D fell flat, the slow motion was outstanding. It beautifully captured each and every painful moment. Every time someone gets hit in the face, which is a lot, you can see the impact ripple across their face. Slow motion is a double-edge sword though, as it extends some very uncomfortable scenes for the audience.

Dickhouse

The production company certainly lived up to its name. In one of many phallic pranks, Bam sneaks up on people and pisses on them. The scary thing is that it’s shot from 1st penis perspective like some kind of perverted Halloween homage. Later, the guys play some stickball. Unfortunately, they were forgot their equipment so they improvise and use Pontius’ dick as a bat and Bam’s mouth as the catcher’s mitt. Despite being in slow motion, the black censor bar that conceals Pontius Jr is comically unable to keep up and we witness Party Boy in all his glory.

What should have been censored is the feces, which was literally everywhere. Steve-O gets bathed in it when he goes bungee jumping in a port-a-potty! But quantity isn’t everything. Dave England sets a new high for potty humor when he paints his ass like a volcano and erupts. And just when you think it’s over… instant replay!

It’s not all obscene though. After all, they needed material for the trailer. Most of the skits are boring, with the exception of a midget bar fight that even your mom would enjoy.

But the staple of the show has always been dangerously stupid stunts and Jackass 3D delivers with Electric Avenue, where prisoners try to gain their freedom by crossing an obstacle course consisting of 15 stun guns (950,000 volts each) plus 4 cattle prods. You can literally see the fear in their eyes, and if they’re scared your scared. Afterwards Bam said, “I changed my mind. Stun guns are the number one most thing that I hate now. Bulls are second. Snakes are third.” Naturally, Knoxville decided to test that by trapping him in a snake pit, where he bawled like a baby.

There’s explosive ending where everything (and I mean everything) blows up. Some of it’s obviously fake but that doesn’t make it any less impressive.

Farewell

Director Jeff Tremaine says this is the last Jackass movie, maybe. “We truly made it as if it’s the end but we also made the other two movies as if those were the last, so it’s getting pretty repetitious to be here three years after the last time, you know,” said Tremaine.

The credits seem to support this. An emotional remix of Weezer’s “Memories” (Featuring The Cast Of Jackass) accompanies old footage and endearing family photos from before they were jackasses. Knoxville and his cohorts bellow out the chorus, which just makes you want to join in with them. It makes the original version sound empty and whiny in comparison. In one of the last clips, Wee Man is asked if it’s over to which he responds, “Yeah, what did you want out of it? You got whatever, you know.” Although he’s referring to a stunt, it’s extremely poignant. I never thought I’d get misty-eyed over some guys who hit each other in the crotch.

Don’t worry though, just like the previous movie there was plenty of unused footage, which will be used for a direct-to-DVD sequel: Jackass 3.5.

Jackass 3D – Review is a post from: L7 World

Anderson Cooper is gay. Not (just) homosexual gay but, you know, whiny gay.

Universal has pulled the trailer for The Dilemma after CNN’s Anderson Cooper went on The Ellen Degeneres Show to complained of it’s use of the word gay.

“There was a preview of a movie, and in it, the actor said, ‘That’s so gay,’ and I was shocked that not only that they put it in the movie, but that they put that in the preview. They thought that it was OK to put that in a preview for the movie to get people to go and see it,” said Cooper. “I just find those words, those terms, we’ve got to do something to make those words unacceptable cause those words are hurting kids.”

In the trailer, Vince Vaughn’s character pitches the need for a more manly electric car by claiming that “electric cars are gay. Not homosexual gay but, you know, ‘my parents are chaperoning the dance’ gay.”

The word is used without any malice. The joke isn’t at the expense of homosexuals, rather the pitchman’s inartful use of the word to which his audience clearly takes offense. Hence, his explanation of exactly which variety of gay he’s talking about.

Universal says they “showed the trailer to gay groups like GLAAD and gay executives here and gays in our marketing department and no one was offended and everyone had a positive response.” It seems Cooper is so tight with the gay community that he changed their minds.

Anderson Cooper’s Gay Dilemma is a post from: L7 World

These majestic old-timers can stroll for up to 30 minutes before finding a park bench.

In a dystopic future where Obamacare didn’t pass, the United States has set up a seniors game preserve (and you thought death panels sounded bad) but when two friends learn of a magical land with free health care, they plan escape across the border.

The Closer You Get To Canada is a black comedy that examines themes of patriotism, state security, and personal liberties. It premieres at this year’s Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF).

The Closer You Get To Canada is a post from: L7 World