Fresh from turning Halloween‘s Michael Myers into a hallucinating momma’s boy that loves ponies and tickles, “director” Rob Zombie is set to butcher yet another classic movie monster, The Blob. Ironically Zombie’s Blob will also like ponies and tickles, but alas sometimes you can love something too much. “I’d been looking to break out of the horror genre, and this really is a science fiction movie about a thing from

Despite the objections of her husband, Madeline wants to have a natural childbirth but after a horrible car accident kills both her husband & the baby, it’s anything but natural. Madeline decides to carry the baby to term, and miraculously the stillborn baby starts breastfeeding… blood! It’s (not) Alive! Unlike the infamous killer baby from the It’s Alive movies, baby Grace is completely dependent on Madeline. While that may make

The USS Enterprise was the Love Boat of the 23rd century. Unfortunately, the crew always set their “phasers” to stun. Hustler however takes no prisoners with This Ain’t Star Trek XXX, a parody of the classic episode Space Seed in which we first heard the name Khannnnnnnnnn!!! When the Enterprise comes across a ship adrift in space they find 3 very horny survivors: Khan (Nick Manning), Ruth (Jenna Haze), &

No it’s not the highly anticipated sequel unveiled at Comic-Con this weekend. It’s a hilarious new web series by Ben Hansford about an older but not necessarily wiser Tron. The episodes, which average about a minute in length, reveal what life’s really like inside of a computer: boring! It’s exponentially better than the original and I think you’ll agree after watching it that Tron needs no reboot. Watch the first

Everyone’s favorite giant space chicken makes an appearance at the G8 summit to weigh in on the housing crisis, literally! Don’t worry if your haven’t seen the 60s classic The X from Outer Space. It’s not so much a sequel, as it is an excuse to make the G8 seem ineffectual. Even the one nod to the original movie, is really just knock at the Chinese who accidentally bring Girara

After six missions to Mars are shot down by a UFO, the Fuji Astronautical Flight Center (FAFC) decides to send yet another crew to their certain doom because Mars is just that awesome [sarcasm]. Not surprisingly our heroes fare slightly better thanks to their new experimental nuclear-powered spaceship the AAB-Gamma AKA Astro-Boat. And although they never make it to Mars, they do manage to survive their encounter with the UFO

After months of speculation on who the “Fallen” was in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, who would’ve guessed that it’d be two slapstick sidekicks that would spark the real debate. Skids and Mudflap are Transformers that speak in ebonics, or as I like to call them Ebonicons ™. Voice actor Reno Wilson (Mudflap) describes them as “wannabe gangster types” who learned about human culture through the Web (thank the Allspark

3 words: Vampire Japanese Schoolgirl! Although technically she’s not really a schoolgirl. Her name’s Saya, and she’s gone undercover to hunt her own kind. And these aren’t your typical bloodsuckers, they’re a lot uglier & not prone to sunburn. Unfortunately, this live action adaptation of the classic anime takes a lot of artistic liberties. Not only is Saya much older, but now she’s now 1/2 human, which makes her seem

A long time ago at a movie studio far, far away a promo was made for Return of the Jedi called Return of the Ewok, but fearing another debacle like The Star Wars Holiday Special it was frozen in carbonite never to be seen again… That is until a pirate alliance discovered plans to show the movie at a convention and made a bootleg copy (ilovetorrents.com). The film follows Warwick

A movie about a box within a box? It blows my mind (among other things) just thinking about it! I know what you’re thinking: ‘Do I need to see Woman in Box 1 first?’ Heck, you don’t need to even see this one, that is unless you hate women with a passion. Woman in a Box 2 is a pinku eiga (soft porn) that takes Stockholm syndrome to new heights

One-Eyed Monster is a breakout role for Ron Jeremy’s dick, literally! While filming his latest adult film Ron, who plays himself, is possessed by an alien life form that wants to mate with our women. And it doesn’t take no for an answer. After nearly fucking his wife to death, Ron’s dick breaks loose, killing Ron in the process which is too bad because the few lines he had were

Star Trek: Countdown is the official prequel comic to the Star Trek reboot, but is it really required reading? The 4-issue miniseries takes place during the Next Generation era and tells the origin of the retcon monster Nero. Nero is a Romulan miner who forges an uneasy alliance with Ambassador Spock when they both come to the same conclusion: the destruction of Romulus is imminent. A supernova in the nearby

Never afraid to break the 4th wall (among other things), the Merc WITH a Mouth used the cover of Deadpool #9 to poke fun at his movie counterpart, who [spoiler alert] is decapitated at the end X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And judging by that squint he’s giving, he’s not a fan. Can you blame him? It’s bad enough they sewed up his mouth, but then they turn him into Mimic!? Honestly,

Fox News blogger Roger Friedman has nothing but praise for the new X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie. Unfortunately, the feeling is not mutual. Friedman reviewed an illegally downloaded workprint, even bragging that it was “so much easier than going out in the rain” (but then again what isn’t?). 20th Century Fox had no sympathy for the Fox employee and issued the following statement: “We’ve just been made aware that Roger Friedman,

This Easter it won’t be Jesus that comes back from the dead. But these aren’t your typical zombies, they’re nazi zombies. And they don’t want brains… well they do, but that’s just a means to an end. What they really want is their gold back, which is funny because it’s not even theirs. It’s stolen gold, but try telling a nazi zombie that. At first I thought this was going