Larry King returns to reluctantly moderate the “Yahoo! News Funny or Die GOP Presidential Online Internet Cyber Debate.” It’s set up to look like Hollywood Squares and ends with the Reagan speed round, in which candidates see who can say Ronald Reagan’s name the most. The winner is Jon Huntsman but just like in real life no cares about him.

The real reason the candidates are there is for “an opportunity to blatantly, shameless promote their books.” Mitt Romney’s book has blank pages so you can write whatever you want him to say. Ron Paul’s book is on how to keep children out of you abandoned amusement park by dressing up as ghost. And Rick Perry promotes a Hardy Boys book, it’s got train robbers!

The Debate is followed by a sexy rebuttal from Obama, who reveals his “dirty little secret.” He’s actually a conservative, just look at his record: Wall Street bailout, extending Bush Tax cuts, and he followed the Bush timeline for pulling out of Iraq… because when Obama says he’s gonna pull out, you can trust him.

Features: Mike Tyson as Herman Cain, Rob Delaney as Mitt Romney, Horatio Sanz as Newt Gingrich, John C. McGinley as Rick Santorum, Greg Germann as Jon Huntsman, Patrick Warburton as Rick Perry, Leslie Jordan as Ron Paul, Erin Gibson as Michele Bachmann, Bryan Safi as Marcus Bachmann, and Reggie Brown as President Obama.

Watch the debate @ Yahoo Screen
http://screen.yahoo.com/yahoo-news-funny-or-die-gop-cyber-debate-27797158.html

Larry King Moderates Fake GOP Debate is a post from: L7 World

Way back in August, presidential candidate Herman Cain chose to close the Iowa debate by quoting a poet, who turned out to be disco queen Donna Summer singing the Pokémon: The Movie 2000 theme. As soon as this happened we should have known “Herman Cain is an Art Project” says Rachel Maddow. She points to other cultural references such as Cain’s 9-9-9 plan originating in the video game Sim City and quotes from other great poets like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 3 (video below).

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Herman Cain is an Art Project is a post from: L7 World

Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich thinks child labor laws are “truly stupid.”

While speaking at Harvard, Gingrich chided child labor laws for institutionalizing poverty. “It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid. Saying to people you shouldn’t go to work before you’re 14, 16. You’re totally poor, you’re in a school that’s failing with a teacher that’s failing,” said Gingrich.

“I tried for years to have a very simple model. These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work; they’d have cash; they’d have pride in the schools. They’d begin the process of rising.”

Because nothing instills pride more than cleaning up after rich. Just watch the musical Annie. They’re so happy, they’re singing!

School of Hard Knocks is a post from: L7 World

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it isn't.

On the Tonight Show, Jay Leno challenged her positions on everything from taxes to the gays. Leno asked, “If you become president, and you seem pretty strident in your views, could you comprise?” Bachmann interrupted “Convicted. I’m convicted.” The comedian corrected her, “Convicted? No, you don’t get convicted until after you’re in office. That’s later. You have to get elected first.”

I’m ‘convinced’ the only way Republicans can win is by not opening their very big mouths.

Freudian Slip is a post from: L7 World

9/11 conspiracies go mainstream in The Big Lie by Image Comics, a publisher better known for titles like Spawn and The Walking Dead. The Truther comic book, which features Uncle Sam as narrator, has no qualms about being propaganda. “It’s obviously more ‘propaganda’ than those other approaches [referring to titles like Catch 22, Doctor Strangelove, and Veitch's Army@Love]. Using comics to present a political point of view. My art is usually as far from the realm of propaganda as I can possibly make it. But sometimes, especially for a situation like this, I like to wield it,” says writer Rick Veitch.

The personification of America is symbolically bloodied and tattered perhaps as much, if not more, by the “lie” than the physical attack. He declares, “Most times the bigger the fib, the easier for plain folks to be taken in. Well, I reckon there’s still a few good citizens got so much moxie they’ll overcome any obstacle to set things straight. Even time itself…” One such a person is Sandra Stratton, a physicist who travels back in time to save her husband. He works in the North Tower as part of a risk management consulting company, which conveniently deals with security, military, and political issues. Each department confidently refutes Sandra’s claims as either implausible or impossible. “In fact, your whole hypothesis only works if people in our own government were somehow in collusion with this imagined attack,” concludes the office manager. Sandra says she doesn’t know what on “behind the scenes” but one thing’s for sure: Bush lied us into a war. Another department backs up the idea of 9/11 being an inside job, citing some neo-cons desire for a “new Pearl Harbor.”

Despite her persuasiveness, Sandra’s own husband dismisses the danger. He just happened to write his thesis paper on the World Trade Center and explains that it was “specifically built to withstand the crash of a fully loaded jetliner” and the only way to bring it down is with high-grade explosives. When Sandra shows him footage of WTC 7 collapsing on her ipad, he is convinced what he sees is a controlled demolition and has her escorted from the building. Minutes later the plane crashes into the tower and exposes explosives attached to the building’s beams. In that instant, the book goes from theory to a claim of fact.

Veitch says he took care to “avoid some of the loonier theories that you see, like space aliens did it.” Yet, he gives credence to conspiracy theories just as loony, such as the belief that Jews were behind 9/11 in order to goad American into invading the Middle East. One of the reasons they doubt Sandra is that they are in the middle of a project for a famous filmmaker named “Stephen” (i.e.; Steven Spielberg), who wants to have a real-life collapsing skyscraper in his next movie. This goes far beyond coincidence and seem to implicate Spielberg so it’s not surprising Veitch spells his first name with a “ph” and leaves out his last name.

The Big Lie is a One-Shot comic but Veitch says, “Right now we are discussing a couple more 9/11 themed issues that focus on elements that were too complex to cover in our first issue. We’d like to do one that illustrates the money trail preceding and following the attacks. And we’d like to shine a much needed light on the Patriot Act, which had been on the Neo-Con drawing board for a decade until it was passed in response to 9/11.”

The Big Lie – 9/11 comic is a post from: L7 World

Ever since Abu Ghraib, the military has been walking on eggshells to be culturally sensitive. They’ve banned soldiers from cursing or talking about politics, religion or girls around Afghans for fear of offending them.

But marines are crying foul on the latest addition to the military code of conduct. The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle, is reporting “audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.” And commenters are sounding off by pointing out the myriad of offensive practices by Afghans such as rape, honor killing, beheadings, suicide bombs.

Perhaps this is just for plausible deniability. After all, they only banned “audible” gas so silent but deadly is still in their arsenal.

Don’t Ask Don’t Smell is a post from: L7 World

Hurricane Irene may have fizzled out but El Bloomito is still going strong with over 20,000 followerusos.

New Yorker Rachel Figueroa-Levin created the Twitter account to parody the Mayor’s Spanish storm updates with humorous tweets like “Hola Newo Yorko! El stormo grande is mucho dangeroso!”

Rachel promises “I’ll continue El Bloombito as long as it stays fun. I probably won’t comment on other things- I don’t want it to turn into some political statement feed. I’ll just stick to Spanglish translations of city news.”

El Bloombito is a post from: L7 World

Fans of Sesame Street have long speculated that roomies Bert and Ernie are gay but those rumors have been put to bed.

In response to an online petition by Change.org to let Bert and Ernie get married, Sesame Workshop issued the following statement, “Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

Apparently this statement was brought to you by the letters B & S because Miss Piggy is practically a sexual predator. She’s constantly stalking Kermit the Frog and smothering him in unwanted smooches. And let’s not even delve into the relationship between Gonzo and Camilla the Chicken.

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel got on his high horse to point out Bert and Ernie aren’t fashionable enough to be gay.

Bert & Ernie – Friends Without Benefits is a post from: L7 World

“The meek shall inherit the irradiated earth.”

The Air Force is experiencing legal fallout after the revelation that chaplains at Vandenberg Air Force Base were teaching a questionable ethics course, which included a PowerPoint presentation on St. Augustine’s “Christian Just War Theory” informally known as the “Jesus loves nukes speech.”

The mandatory course was intended to teach officers that the killing of innocents can be justifiable for the greater good, and that they should not hesitate to launch the nuclear-armed Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles (ICBM) “if lawfully ordered to do so by the President of the United States or his lawful successor.”

It had been taught for more than 20 years but was suspended after the watchdog group  Military Religious Freedom Foundation threatened to file a class-action lawsuit for violation of separation of church and state.

Who Would Jesus Nuke? is a post from: L7 World

“I didn’t put my neck on the line and go toe to toe with Obama to not have an army behind me.”

It appears Congress will meet the demands of the hostage takers (i.e.; Republicans) in time to meet the August 2nd deadline to raise the debt ceiling but the damage is already done. Even if there is no default and we maintain our AAA rating, Moody’s has stated that “As to the longer-term outlook on the rating, the limited magnitude of current deficit reduction proposals suggest that even a timely increase in the debt ceiling will lead to the assignment of a negative outlook on the rating.”

In fact, there have already been real consequences. The Dow closed 4.2% last week as a result of uncertainty. That’s more than $700 billion lost in one week of arguing about $2 trillion in cuts over 10 years!

Say hello to my little friend.

Instead of comprising, House Speaker John “Scarface” Boehner rallied his goons. “I didn’t put my neck on the line and go toe to toe with Obama to not have an army behind me,” Boehner told his party in a private meeting. Unfortunately, that army has declared war on the middle class! And President Obama has readily surrendered by agreeing to cuts to Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, student loans, and Pell Grants but no revenues from either taxes on rich or closing of loopholes in the tax code.

Boehner Blows America’s Credit is a post from: L7 World