This week the Massachusetts legislature proposed a ban on spanking. Parents argue the established precedent of Al Bundy Vs. Family dubbed the Psycho-Dad case clearly allows them to unleash holy hell on said buttocks. The fierce opposition to the bill makes it unlikely to pass, that and the fact that kids can’t vote. But regardless of the outcome…

Here’s the Top 5 Reasons Not to Spank Your Kids:

1.) When your nutso kids go postal you wanna be on their good side.
2.) Kids today are so fat they won’t feel it.
3.) They might grow up to like.
4.) You might like it.
5.) Michael Jackson was spanked as a child.