pollution pigThere’s plenty of websites that calculate when you’re gonna die, but now there’s finally a kid-friendly site that’ll tell you when you should die!

The Australian Broadcasting Company (ABC) website features an animated greenhouse calculator (link) that determines how long you deserve to live based on your carbon footprint. The more resources you consume, the more immense your portly avatar becomes until it explodes. And unless you ride a bike made outta hemp you can kiss your ass goodbye! According to the calculator the average Australian should die by age 9. Naturally after young impressionable visitors have been throughly scared straight, they’ll want to spend hours being indoctrinated… I mean playing Planet Slayer (link), the eco-friendly version of Space Invaders, in which kids must shoot down scary things like logging, nuclear energy, and consumerism – oh my!

ABC managing director Mark Scott defends the site saying it’s “been developed to appeal to children and it’s been done in an irreverent way … to make it engaging.” And while Alec Baldwin may agree with him, I happen think telling little kids they’re pigs that should die is a bad thing.