Cooties have been around ever since Eve touched God’s stuff and got us kicked outta Eden. And until now our only defense against this contagious disease was a combination of circles & dots (see Cooties PSA below).

But neuroscientist Larry Young has discovered a vaccine. Dr. Young explains, “If we give an oxytocin blocker to female voles (a type of rodent), they become like 95 percent of other mammal species. They will not bond no matter how many times they mate with a male or hard how he tries to bond. They mate, it feels really good and they move on if another male comes along. If love is similarly biochemically based, you should in theory be able to suppress it in a similar way.”

Love is an aberration.

Long-term bonding is rare in mammals. This love hormone, oxytocin, is released during labour, delivery and nursing and “our sexuality has evolved to stimulate that same oxytocin system to create female-male bonds,” Young theorizes.

And Dr Malcolm Brynin, of the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Essex, England wrote in her book Changing Relationships that “the secret to long-term happiness in a relationship is to skip a first relationship” because few relationships will live up to that first puppy love.

In other words, love is a drug that you build up a tolerance to (put that on a Valentine’s Day card).

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