Monster X Strikes Back

Everyone’s favorite giant space chicken makes an appearance at the G8 summit to weigh in on the housing crisis in Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit.

Don’t worry if your haven’t seen the 60s classic The X from Outer Space. It’s not a true sequel but a parody to make the G8 seem ineffectual. The only reference to the original movie is when Chinese accidentally bring Girara back to Earth by recreating the spaceship he first arrived on. The Canada Prime Minister remarks that “the Chinese are always making copy of everything.”

While rest of the G8 members seem content to run away and let their Japanese hosts deal with Girara, the American President chides them for their cowardice and convinces them that staying will be good press for their re-elections. But instead of working together each country decides to go it alone. The results are laughable. Seriously, Germany gasses Girara only to have him laugh it off. Oddly enough they never try the Giulalanium that defeated Girara the first time around, but then again it would be a very short movie if they did.

Set in 2008 all the world leaders are based on their real-life counterparts, most notably the American & French presidents. Although never named, they’re obviously supposed to be George Bush & Nicholas Sarkozy. The cowboy like American president is quick on the trigger so much so that when the Japanese Prime Minister hesitates to launch missiles at the monster, he pushes him out of the way and does it himself exclaiming “yahoo!” The playboy French Prime Minister prefers to make love not war. He skips out on the war room for a quick romp his Japanese translator.

In most diakaiju films the monsters are eventually overcome by a child, woman, or another monster. Monster X Strikes Back triples down on that convention. Sumida is a under-appreciated reporter looking for a big scoop. She finds it when she gets lost in the mountains and sees villagers doing what can only be described as a Michael Jackson inspired crotch grab dance to the local mountain spirit, Take Majin. Eventually a gruff boy named Shinichi agrees to teach Sumida the ritual and together they summon the giant golden eight-armed god, played by none other than Takeshi Kitano (Beat Takeshi). Unfortunately, Takeshi doesn’t have a whole lot of lines but you’re sure to recognize his silly face. He only appears at the end of the movie and the final battle isn’t long but boy is it memorable. I won’t spoil it for you other than to say there’s lots of juvenile humor, including the crotch grab’s true purpose!

Although the special effects have improved in the past 40 years, the dialogue has not. It’s awesomely bad! And it’s not just the subtitles. The non-Japanese characters speak in their native languages and still sound goofy. You’d think the actors would have corrected the director but maybe it’s intentional and they’re parodying the poor translation typical in these films.

If you like campy movies, look no further than Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit.

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