Black Dynamite
If you’re gonna stereotype why be subtle about it? That’s the idea behind blaxploitation films and Black Dynamite is the best since I’m Gonna Git You Sucka. Set in the 70s and it uses Grindhouse-esque editing inconsistencies to further mimic films of the period.

When Black Dynamite’s brother is killed during a drug sting, he vows to clean up the streets one ass whoopin’ at a time. But the real dope on the street is Anaconda, “the only malt liquor to be approved by the United States Government.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this government approved malt liquor is yet another insidious scheme by whitey to keep the black man down, however the deductive reasoning Black Dynamite’s crew uses to uncover operation “Code Kansas” would put Sherlock Holmes to shame. While brainstorming about over waffles that melt in your mouth, they realize M&M’s also melt in your mouth. And who makes M&M’s? Mars, the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Ares, which eventually leads Black Dynamite to ask “And as we all know zodiacal astronomy was created by the Greeks in?” In unison they all yell “785 B.C.” The area code of Topeka, Kansas! (Who says inner city schools ain’t no good?)

It’s all the funnier because most of the time they’re spouting clichés and repeating themselves like broken records. When one of Black Dynamite’s bitches asks him what he’s going to do about the drug dealers, he tells her “I’m gonna fight the only way I know how. Ever since I was a boy all I knew was how to fight. Fight, fight, fight. And when I got tired, I would fight some more.” And later while recounting his time in Vietnam, Black Dynamite grieves over a Chinese child who got his “little Chinese” legs blown off and was charred down to his “little Chinese” knees. He looked up at him with his “little Chinese” eyes and said something in “Chinese.” But he didn’t have to speak “Chinese” to know what that boy was saying… “Why Black Dynamite? Why?” Michael Jai White deserves an Oscar if for no other reason than his ability to deliver such cheesy lines with a straight face. The outtakes alone would make the DVD worth buying.

Black Dynamite makes Shaft look like Urkel.

This pimp/CIA agent has an actual “license to kill” and he not just coming for the bad guys (can you dig it?). Black Dynamite goes through bitches like bullets but that changes when he meets a very righteous community activist named Gloria (Salli Richardson-Whitfield). Although Whitfield’s sex scene is animated that somehow makes it all the raunchier. And just to keep the exploitation aspect authentic, there are topless appearances by real-life porn stars: Charmane Star, Charlotte Stokely, Justine Jolie, Erika Vution, and Stacey Adams (see semi-SFW trailer right).

But the real money shot is the final showdown at the Honky House (White House). It feels like an episode of MADtv, complete with Nicole Sullivan as First Lady Patricia Nixon. While that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s like you’re suddenly watching a different movie, especially when Black Dynamite gets some impromptu backup courtesy of Abraham Lincoln’s ghost fu!

Happy Days gave us “jumping the shark.” Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull gave us “nuking the fridge.” Now Black Dynamite gives us “spooking the president.”