monkey terroristsAccording to the Chinese newspaper People’s Daily, “Taliban forces have taught monkeys how to use the Kalashnikov, Bren light machine gun and trench mortars. They also teach them how to identify and attack soldiers wearing U.S. military uniforms.”

The Taliban isn’t worried about accusations of animal cruelty though. In fact, they’re counting on it. “If a person who loves animals knows the monkeys may be injured in the war, they might pressure the government to force the withdrawal of western forces in Afghanistan,” said one Taliban insider.

Stars and Stripes contacted the Chinese Embassy to determine the validity of the story but a spokesman would only say that “the Chinese government is opposed to terrorism of any forms” (human or otherwise).

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