Children can be cruel, especially to their toys. “These creatures cannot defend themselves. They cannot run away only escape. Insanity is there there only escape,” explains Dr. Kindermann of The Asylum – Psychiatric Clinic for Abused Cuddly Toys (parapluesch.com).

The German toymaker calls the toys therapeutic. “Children and grown ups like their vulnerability and find something in them that gives them a great sense of comfort in helping to heal them,” says founder Martin Kittsteiner. “I think some adults see it as a form of therapy for themselves.”

Patients:

  • Sly, a rattle(less) snake with fears of inadequacy.
  • Lilo, an obsessive compulsive hippo that’s too busy trying to solve his puzzle to communicate.
  • Kroko, a paranoid crocodile with a fear of water.
  • Dun, a depressed turtle overwhelmed by the fast-paced world.
  • Dolly, a sheep with multiple personality disorder.

They’re all adorable but Dolly is sheer genius, and not just for the allusion to the infamous cloned sheep. Dolly is literally a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It can be turned inside out to become a wolf or partially transformed to show the inner struggle.

Each toy sells for 29.90 Euros (about $39) or buy all 5 for 129.90 Euros (about $169).

If you can’t afford to adopt one of these little guys, you can still volunteer at the Asylum in a free online game (http://www.parapluesch.de/whiskystore/test.htm). At your disposal are a host of psychiatric techniques including: talk therapy, play therapy, dream analysis, and of course lots of trippy drugs. But be careful it’s surprisingly difficult and your patients can experience relapses. If that happens you’ll need start over with a clean slate courtesy of some good old fashioned electroshock therapy!