Sex Box is part Channel 4’s campaign for Real Sex, a series intended to reclaim sex from porn.
“The Sex Box is an idea we borrowed from leading sex research and counselors,” says host Mariella Frostrup, an advice columnist. “They encourage couples to have sex and they talk about it straight afterwards while their experience and feelings about it remain vivid and truthful.”
The couples have sex behind the opaque, soundproof walls of the box, afterwards they discuss the experience with a panelist of “sexperts” including Phillip Hodson, a sex therapist who doesn’t subscribe to the narrow term gay and straight; Dan Savage, a married gay man who hosts a popular podcast; and Tracey Cox, author of multiple sex books.
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First up were Rachel and Dean, a 20-something couple that met online explicitly for sex but later developed a relationship. Dean recounts how he earned the nickname “3 hour boy” after she issued a challenge by initially suggesting he’d be a “5 minute wonder.” Their time in the sex box was considerably shorter even without video editing. Even this young adventurous couple that uses porn for inspiration in their sex life admits that having sex in public was a lot of pressure, box or no box.
Next up were Matt and John, a gay couple. The show notes that most people are clueless when it comes to the sex lives of homosexuals. They wrongly believe it’s all about anal but it was in this case, at least for Matt. John decided to keep it in his pants because he felt rushed and wasn’t up to it but he didn’t seem to mind.
“It’s a treat like chocolate cake,” he explained. “You don’t want to have it every day.”
Savage quipped, “You reserve it for national television.”
Last up were Lynette and Des, a 40-something married couple. There was little visible change in their demeanor notes Hodsom. He surmised that they have become so comfortable with each other that sex is no longer a special event.
“It’s not the most important thing in the world,” Des agrees.
Infidelity is particularly high among older couples so they asked for any parting pearls or wisdom.
Phillip Hodson
People mean what they do not what they say so if but the say they love you and treat you like shit, they don’t love you.
Tracey Cox
A very simple tip to keep things going sexually long-term is just change one thing every single time you have sex. It’s a really easy thing to think about is just whether it be the room, the position,which ever way your facing in the bed. It’s sort of a quick tip to keep sexy spicy at least.
Dan Savage
I always assign the three Gs, which are Good, Giving and Game. Which is what we should all be for our sex partners and expect from them, which is good in bed. You gotta acquire skills. I’m sure you guys have at this stage. Game for anything, just up for play and new suggestions and willing to indulge each other. And giving and pleasure, sometime without the expectation of an immediate return. It’s okay sometimes to take care of someone when you’re not necessarily feeling in the game and get them off in hopes that they’ll return the fair down the road.
Contrary to what viewers expected, Sex Box was less about the sex going on in the box than it was about the sex going on out in the world. For now porn is still safe, despite this brief glimpse into real sex.
“I think that we’ve had missing conversation about sex,” Hudson concludes. “In this country in particular because we’re British. We’re reserved, it’s crowded and all that stuff. I think it is therapeutic for people to hear in an echo that their own normality, the own behavior is shared with everyone else. That under all our roles or education or appearance, we are the same. And that’s what make my heart feel warm.”
The Real Sex campaign continues next week with Diary of Teenage Virgin.
