After 65 years of two-timing Archie finally settles down with Veronica in 6-part special beginning in August (Archie #600).

The Riverdale gang is all grown-up and entering the real world, so given the state of economy is it any wonder Archie picked an heiress like Veronica Lodge over Betty “I knit my own sweaters” Cooper .

Naturally there’s been a lot of criticism over the choice, but you guys are missing the real story here.

If Archie gets married, he’s gonna have to consummate the marriage. And in the almost sickeningly wholesome world of Riverdale, where sharing a milkshake is considered risque, sex (even the married kind) is a taboo reserved only for honeymoons and anniversaries (big ones like 25th and 50th). So enjoy it while it lasts Archie!