monkey loverSpain is going to the dogs… er, apes. Last month the parliament’s environmental committee approved resolutions to extend human rights to apes (chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orang-utans).

The legislation was spearheaded by the Great Apes Project (GAP), which believes (among other things) apes aka “community of equals” should enjoy the right to due process including “the right to appeal, either directly or, if they lack the relevant capacity, through an advocate, to a judicial tribunal.”

You show me a monkey (And yes I know apes are primates, not monkeys, I’m intenionally being speciesist), show me one that can “directly appeal” its case in court and… well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. And if monkeys really are equals as GAP claims, then how far behind can inter-species marriages be? Well in the immortal words of Charlton Heston, keep “your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”