Government Rescue PlanSome economists think the recession could be over in months, but the government isn’t counting on it.

In anticipation of mass suicides, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) has launched a new website for “Getting Through Tough Economic Times” (

“The guide is a quick and easy tool that people can use to better manage their emotional well-being. By helping people remain resilient, we can help promote the overall recovery of our nation,” explains SAMHSA administrator Dr. Eric Broderick.

The guide includes “helpful” tips for spotting the suicide warning signs such as:

  • Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself (duh)
  • Looking for ways to kill oneself (duh)
  • Thinking or fantasying about suicide (duh)
  • Acting recklessly (duh)
  • Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life (duh)
  • Visiting this website (Okay I made that last one up, but it’s as helpful as anything else here)