Kim Kardashian guest stars in the American Dad season finale “Blagsnarst, A Love Story.” Kasdashian plays an alien that resembles a female Cousin Itt from the Addams Family series. Her name is the onomatopoeia for a hock-a-loogie. Despite her unappealing appearance the family’s resident alien Roger (Seth MacFarlane) is driven wild by her “lady pheromones” before ever laying eyes on her. He become extremely clingy with the rest of the family including Francine. She lifts her dress to reveal Roger literally clinging to her despite no bulge in her clothing, an example of the cartoon physics known as Hammerspace.
“Hugs not drugs. That’s what I say,” Roger tells them. “I’m also on drugs.”
The pheromones lead Roger to Hock-A-Loogie, who is similarly drawn to the only alien.
“Help I’ve crashed and I don’t have a boyfriend,” she exclaims.
Hock-A-Loogie is a lot like the real Kim Kardashian. That is she’s very sensual. She tells the family about herself over dinner.
“I like long walks in the blistering suns and playing in the sulfuric rain but my favorite thing to do is…” she whispers something provocative in Roger’s non-existent ear.
Roger excuses himself from the table. He explains that he’s going to spit all over Hock-A-Loogie. They head upstairs to have kinky sex that can be heard from off-screen. The ceiling shakes accompanied by bizarre sounds from a clown horn and donkey. They’re so loud that the Smiths can still hear them after they go out to eat. The morning after, she calls him a “hair puller” but Roger insists he just trying to figure out what’s underneath the hair. The insatiable woman suggests an encore performance but he breaks up with her by pretending to already have girlfriend. He adopts a cowboy persona and wrangles up “280 pounds of proof” at a country saloon. But the heifer is freaked out by the hairball and can’t keep up the charade.
Roger spuriously gives their relationship another shot. He concocts a plan to get rid of his girlfriend by taking her to a bed and breakfast then turning her over to CIA Deputy Director Avery Bullock (Patrick Stewart), who has his own hard on for aliens. Stan (MacFarlane) warns him that if Bullock interrogates her, then he’ll find out about Roger and put the whole family in jeopardy for harboring an alien. Roger begrudgingly saves her from Bullock but he still cant stand her. While driving her home, she rambles on about their relationship though it sounds more like she’s talking about her real-life husband Kanye.
“You know people are going to ask us why we’re back to together but I just feel like that’s our business, you know?” the nepotist babbles on. “We don’t have to explain our love to anyone. They’re all just jealous anyway. Jealous that we have the kind of love that’s greater than anything in the entire galaxy.”
Roger jumps from the car, sending it careening off a cliff. The explosion burns her hair away revealing a very sexy Kim Kardashian underneath.
“And that’s how I became Kim Kardashian,” she explains to the audience.
“And that’s how she became Kim Kardashian,” Stan echoes her.
A cutaway shows Stan has been reading her origin story to his family. The book titled American Dan on Fox is placed on the bookshelf in-between classics such as Ulysses and Moby Dick. The scene is a Fourth Wall reference to the fact that it is the final episode to be aired on Fox, which cancelled the series. But the tale is not over. TBS has picked up the series for a 15 episode season. The new network will hopefully allow creator Seth MacFarlane the same creative freedom as it does late night comedian Conan O’Brien, who curses without being bleeped. Otherwise it too might explode and MacFarlane won’t look nearly as good walking away.
American Dad season 12 premieres 9 PM Monday, October 20 on TBS.
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